Until that first meeting, I didn't understand it when I heard, "You cannot change him." My counselor had been saying those words to me for a while, but I didn't truly believe them. I thought, "If only I tried harder, got madder, withdrew a little more, then my husband would come to realize the damage his drinking was having on our marriage and, more importantly, on me."

With the help of these few meetings and the Al-Anon literature I have  been devouring, I am coming to the realization that, no, I cannot change him, I have also realized I can only change myself - and what a lot of changes there are to make!

I become overwhelmed at times with all of the work in from of me, but I am slowly learning "Easy Does It" and "One Day at a Time" or "Let Go and Let God."

I now believe with the help of my new Al-Anon family that I will learn to have compassion toward my husband and that I will accept him. I will also discover how to become a stronger, more self-assured woman who knows how to take care of herself.

- Susan G., Oregon

Reprinted from The Forum magazine, January, 2004 Issue